two months of motherhood.

Two months ago, I became a mother -- and two months ago, my priorities entirely changed. I knew life would be different after our little one arrived, but I had no clue how much. 

In the delivery room, my OB said that {cv} was in charge of getting me to slow down. She knew it needed to be said. I have always been a busy body. Even in my last month of pregnancy, I was going at full speed to make sure we got in our house before the baby joined us. Looking back on it, the month of November was a complete blur. I remember the exhaustion, but I also remember the elation of seeing everything come together. When {jv} made his grand entrance, he came two days after his due date. Truth be told, I was aching for a few extra days to get things done around the house. The sea of boxes had to wait.

I honestly thought I would jump back into my life as I knew it before, only with a baby in tow. I imagined I would be back to running, blogging, and everything else without a second thought. I couldn't imagine how I would fill a day with a newborn, but I was absolutely wrong. I am writing this post ever so quietly on my MacBook, while {jv} sleeps in the crook of my nursing pillow. He is the reason my productivity went from an all-time high to an all-time low... and for the first time in my life, I could care less. 

If one image could capture this shift, it would be this Instagram. My world stops when he needs me and, sadly, he won't always need me. When he is 16 and running out the door for a date (!!), I will ache for these quiet moments. This is why I am giving myself a pass. The sea of boxes (though they're somewhat artfully hidden) will get unpacked on a quiet Saturday, long in the future. I will get the mountain of thank you notes done one day soon. (To those still owed one, I promise your gift is very much appreciated.) While my to-do list isn't getting any shorter, {jv} just keeps getting bigger and I don't want to miss a minute of it. 

The most surprising thing about motherhood is truly my ability to let things go. I will always thank my son for giving me the gift of peace. I don't let problems fester anymore; I confront them. I am slowly but surely conquering my severe FOMO (fear of missing out). His arrival, coupled with my looming 30th birthday, remind me that life truly is short. I want to fill my days with things that matter, not petty things. If that is what I've learned from two months of motherhood, I can't wait to see what the future teaches me. xoxo {av}

P.S. A word to those non-mothers who see friends like me get swept up in the baby wave: we're still here. Don't think we've lost our heads, though maybe we have just a little. The truth is that we may not want to dump stories of long nights and messy diapers on you. Why? Because we want you to have babies one day too! We want to hear about all the things you're doing in the "real world". Keep in mind that this is a season of our lives, not forever. Though she may look tired and a bit ragged, the friend you love is still hidden under there.