finding joy.

When {cv} and I were long distance, 400 miles separated us. This song by the Gabe Dixon Band captured my feelings about those miles perfectly: "The countryside between us is fortunate indeed - to feel the love from me to you...and so from you to me." I really felt like those 400 miles and I became old friends along the way. They saw me giddy with excitement for a visit and saw me ache with loneliness on the return. Perhaps more than anything, they taught me enormous lessons about the importance of the sacrifices you make for love.


Here's the truth: I was the one making the drive 98% of the time. {cv}'s job wouldn't let him get away from the office until late in the night on any given Friday. If we wanted to see each other, it meant I was on the road. I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but roughly a year into those drives, I forced myself to find joy in those 400 miles.

Here's the weirdest part: I honestly miss the drive. {Yes, you read that right.}

Those 400 miles helped me to realize just how much I wanted to be with {cv} for a lifetime. During those seven hour treks, I had the chance to really get my head on straight before the start of a new week. Though I don't miss the traffic, I miss that time to just focus. Finding joy in the drive seemed like an impossible feat at first, but in the end, I would do it on repeat. In a heartbeat.

Some people don't believe in the unequal "back and forth", but let them think what they wish. They will never understand the invaluable lessons you learn and immeasurable joy you find during those trips...


P.S. I hope you're enjoying this shift in the long distance posts. The {distance makes the heart grow fonder} series isn't going away--
I've just missed doing my own reflections. Crossing fingers you don't mind! Please let me know!
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16 comments:

  1. The Everything ListJune 6, 2012 at 8:06 AM

    i can totally relate to that. i guess the hubs and i were technically long distance during the summers between college but i don't count those. the first time, we were REALLY long distance was when i lived in france and then after that when we was working and i was in school. i am actually making that drive this weekend to go down to st. mary's for alumni weekend and i am actually excited about it. the way there is what the "drive back" was for me. but now instead of being sad to leave him, it will only be for a few days. i was thinking about it this morning while walking the dog so it is so weird you posted this today.

    http://lachapstickfanatique.blogspot.com

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  2. Emily H. MosbyJune 6, 2012 at 8:19 AM

    I love this post! I drive 150 miles to see my man and the drive is often what I resent the most about being long distance. The drive up, full of excitement, is always quick. But the drive back - torture. I like your idea of reframing that time as a positive reflection of the week ahead. I like to distract myself by catching up with friends or listening to a fun book on tape, too. Thanks for writing!

    www.voyage-on.blogspot.com

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  3. Caley-Jade RosenbergJune 6, 2012 at 8:45 AM

    So so true - we often find joy in the most unexpected places (but especially when doing long distance!)
    During our long distance days, I often found joy in the train trips to and from my hubs - you can reflect and think and pray so much when moving slowly in your own little world, in transport...
    We have recently had a baby and I now find that my unexpected moments of joy are found at 2am in the morning when feeding our little princess in the dark and quiet of the night.
    x

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  4. (Eileen) a creative dayJune 6, 2012 at 8:49 AM

    This post made me tear up... av its so sweet!

    xoxo
    eileen

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  5. Samantha GreenJune 6, 2012 at 8:56 AM

    i love hearing your take on long distance :) xx

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  6. Sue // As It SeemsJune 6, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    I found unexpected joy in the distance with my husband too. When we're far away it forces us to put everything else down and just talk to each other because it's all we can do. That being said, I much prefer to be together!

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  7. Betsy TransatlanticallyJune 6, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    I totally understand this - I have such a love/hate relationship with airports now because they bring me closer to and take me farther from Jon. But the distance really encourages you to not take the trip for granted, which inspires some really interesting reflection. You made it - so can we!

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  8. Cori H.June 6, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    I'm loving the shift in the long distance posts. While I love the distance makes the heart grow fonder series, it's also nice to hear your take on it. I remember the anticipation that would grow as I would drive to see him. Coming back was always the hardest and there were always tears. However, finding joy in every situation is always key!

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  9. BayleeJune 6, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    I like this post. I've never been in a long distance relationship.. I can't even imagine. I do love a good, long drive. I think that's something I also find joy in. Just driving, focusing on the road. Pretty meditative.

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  10. CourtneyJune 6, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    I sure needed this post. My boyfriend and I are separated from me in DC and him in CA. He is currently in Afghanistan and I know upon his return, I will be the one doing most of the flying. Your post helps put me in the mindset to not resent that his job doesn't let him take long weekends...im happy to do it to see him.

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  11. GraceJune 6, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    I've liked your reflections about long distance! I've found a lot of unexpected joy with my job; I thought I was just doing it for some extra cash, but it led me to my friend Ben, which I'm so grateful for.

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  12. LeighJune 6, 2012 at 7:53 PM

    Yes, yes & yes! Scott & I dated long distance for 4 years before we were married. Seeing him only on the weekends, the effort to go see him and the long drives were completely worth it. They built anticipation on the way there & gave me time to reflect on everything that I had on the way back.
    I wouldn't trade that experience for the world!
    xoxo,
    Leigh

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  13. cleanupnicelyJune 6, 2012 at 10:34 PM

    Thanks for this disclosure :)

    My BF and I are international and I have mostly made the travel because until recently I was in school and had the longer breaks. Overall I have realized not to listen to people's take on what "should" be happening in my own realationship. I also despise the word "should." thanks for reminding me that you may find joy in the not so great things that we have to do to make it through this period... I appreciate your honesty.

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  14. LaurynJune 7, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    I love everything about this post! Finding joy in surprising places is one of life's greatest gifts. If you can manage to turn a less desirable situation into something positive, you can do anything! :)

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  15. Eliza :: Case StudyJune 7, 2012 at 11:49 PM

    I absolutely love reading about the two of you! Thanks for writing these reflections :) xoxo! eliza

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  16. cynthiaJune 8, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    I hear that. I have a 30-60 minute commute each way every day and I (usually) don't mind it. It's my "ramp up" and "wind down" time.

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