Happiness is a frame of mind. I don’t know who said it, but
I’ll most certainly say it again. Many of you in long distance relationships
have lamented about how the days between visits get longer as time passes.
Speaking from experience, by the end of the third or fourth week apart, I was not a very kind person. I would start
the vicious “I hate long distance” battle, which didn't end until the day I saw {cv} again.
{photo}
Now that we are in the same place, I look back on my lackluster
attitude and get a bit frustrated with myself. Hindsight is always 20/20, but
in this case, it is so true. I wish I had the perspective during those years
that {regardless of how it feels just then} long distance was only a phase.
Going through it, it definitely did not feel that way.
Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or not, I
think what I learned from my experience cross-applies. During some of those
years, I didn’t always choose to be happy. I chose to let our situation define
me--and I regret that. Though distance kept us apart for a few years, we were
so blessed to have found one another in the first place. Had I kept that in the
front of my mind, my frame of mind would have been much different.
{cv} and I weathered those long distance years--and we both
got much wiser as a result. Blogging retrospectively about long distance helps
me share that “wisdom”, though I can’t claim to be an expert on the topic. The
takeaway for today is to not let the stinkiness of your long distance {or any
situation} define you. Happiness is absolutely a frame of mind…
P.S. Have you seen my cameo in the newest Sweet Lemon magazine?
this is such a great post! it's really to forget it, but state of mind totally determines the success and happiness of long distance relationships. positivity and appreciation for that special person despite the distance are so key. thanks for this wonderful reminder! :)
ReplyDeleteoh gosh. my boyfriend and i went through that last summer. now matter how long or short it is, it sucks. but it is true. it's just a phase and we can get through it and we did. --mila
ReplyDeletei am in the midst of a long distance relationship and i can relate to these feelings! i can also testify that some sort of plan helps immensely and i definitely believe that you have to choose happiness :) xx
ReplyDeletei just read your article in sweet lemon. i think you are so brave to share your story, & i know you are impacting lives through it for the better.
ReplyDelete- l
Such good advice! One of the biggest lessons I learned from long distance is that I am an individual first and foremost and I needed to be okay on my own. Like I couldn't get a hug from my faraway boyfriend at the end of the day, I couldn't rely on anyone else to make me happy - that was all on me, and anyone else helping out was just an added bonus. Finding those little things that make you laugh and make you feel content when you're all by yourself are very sweet.
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more. I've been doing long distance since I started college two years ago. The first year I lived for those visits, but that was pretty much it. I still long for and countdown to those visits, but I decided I needed to involve myself at school more and find other things to make me happy too. It has certainly made the time go by a lot faster and has only improved the relationship. It really is only a phase and so much of it is about perspective. I love reading this blog because a lot of people don't understand. Thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteLove this quote! I honestly find my happiness from hanging out with close friends.
ReplyDeleteThanks girl! I needed to hear this today!
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