Last week, one of my oldest and dearest friends, {kp}, sent me an email. She married her college sweetheart, {rp}, six months before I married mine. I've been blessed to have {kp} in my life since the ripe old age of 14. We have seen each other through many different periods of our life--and no matter how long it's been since we last chatted, we always pick up right where we left off. To me, that ability is what embodies a lifelong friendship :)
As always, her email brightened my day. She is one of the small handful of people in my life who actually know about my blog {since I'm choosing only to share it with those who might somehow appreciate it!} She mentioned how she and {rp} are in a new hybrid of a long distance relationship, very common in this day and age. Because of their work schedules, they will be spending Monday through Thursday apart for the next four months. In the seven years they've been a couple, their time together greatly outweighs their time apart. {rp} spent some time studying abroad during business school, but on the whole, they have always had one another to come home to at the end of the night.
The topic of work affecting time spent together is one which isn't foreign to me. {cv} works hours that rival doctors, though he spends his time with numbers--not patients. When we were long distance and he was working 80-100 hour weeks, it was far from easy. I learned to value the few minutes of his undivided attention at the end of a long day. I also learned to keep myself busy to help distract from the fact {cv} wasn't with me.
For me, one such "distraction" was and is running. Conveniently, {kp} and I both share a major passion for this sport. {She could kick my behind any day though!} Thinking about the time she and {rp} will be spending apart in the next few months, the best advice though that I could give to her {or to any of you} who are facing time apart from your significant other {or even a best friend!} would be to find some healthy distractions. For {kp}, this will likely be training for the many races she has on the horizon. For you, this could mean investing time in your blog, your church, your local animal shelter...or whatever gets you passionate.
Having time apart is never easy, but for me, it sheds light on all the things I miss and love about {cv}. It also helps me to appreciate the time we do have together even more. As difficult as our long distance years were, I would repeat them again...if only to have the same appreciation for my husband and what all he brings to my life. {I still shake my head when I realize I'm thankful for our years apart...I don't think I would have ever said that in the midst of them!}
So, to {kp} and to those of you who are currently spending more of the week apart than together, stay strong. Devote some of your free time to enriching your life {or the lives of others!} You'll become a better person and be on your way to learning one of the toughest skills in life: patience. Good Fabulous things come to those who wait!
If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading along ;)
Can you speak from experience on this topic?
How do you {or did you} "distract" from long distance?
To those of you who have your +1 close by on a regular basis--give them
an extra squeeze for those who don't. Much love to {kp}--and to all of you who
are braving long distance in one form or another! xoxo {av}
P.S. One day closer to Friday...and you know what that means :)
It is really hard indeed being in a long distance relationship. I was in one and sadly it didn´t went very well. But I do believe that is possible and if you really like the person you will go trough with it.
ReplyDeleteTo distract myself I used to watch a lot of films… lol it actually works with me!
xoxoxoxo :)
I grew up in a family like this. For many years my dad was an electrical superintendent on power plant construction projects. He would live all over the country and his company would fly him home on the weekends. I know it's very different from a long distance relationship but here are some things we did to stay close. My dad would bring back postcards of where he had been living and we would keep them in a little photo album. He'd also make sure to be home for elementary school plays or Christmas concerts. Another thing that really helped is my mom kept my sister and I really busy with dance lessons and other activities. It kept us distracted and gave us lots to tell our dad during our daily after dinner phone call.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! More for my boyfriend right now since I commute to NYC daily, it takes three hours just in transit. Add to that my insane work hours and we usually see each other on the way to bed and on the way to work, until Saturday. He spends a lot of time with friends on the weekdays and then we spend the weekends together. It isn't an ideal situation, but it could always be worse.
ReplyDeleteIt is funny, I have been reading your blog for awhile now and I hadn't thought to send it to my friend who has spent most of her relationship with her now husband apart. They are together now but when she graduates from grad school, she will most likely have to go live in NYC while he is in upstate New York. I had never really thought of them having to go long distance again since they just bought a house. I am sending this to her...
ReplyDeletehttp://lachapstickfanatique.blogspot.com
Thanks for this! I really needed it! A dear friend of mine is in the Marines and has been for 6 years now and it becomes quite uneasy at times because I really miss him. But like you said, there is a reason and it all works out the way it's supposed to. God has a reason for it and I have to pray for contentment and faith. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm in a similar sort of situation. The Boyfriend lives and works in San Francisco while I live and work in Sacramento. We're only about an hour and a half apart but since we're both lawyers we can't really see each other until the weekend so, Mon-Fri evening we're apart. It's getting old real quick. But I think it's helped us to really learn the value of the time we have together. Weekends are by far the highlight of my week for many reasons but especially b/c I know I'll be spending it with him.
ReplyDeleteI distract myself during the week with work, blogging, my guinea pig, and photography. I need to get better about working out, though. Maybe running should be my new distraction too!!
xo
This is, as always, a great post and a great reminder to be thankful for the time we do have with our loved ones! During our last separation (8 weeks last summer) I focused on planning our wedding (which was 4 weeks into the separation) and redecorating our bedroom. I definitely learned a lot about myself and my likes and dislikes that summer, more so than the other times we were apart. It was a blessing in disguise :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so true and I can definitely speak to this! I travel a lot for my job so I spend lonely nights in Hotel rooms missing my husband. My husband works long/late hours a lot because he is a farmer and it's just the nature of the job. So we do totally spend a lot of time apart, but it does make you realize how much I love and miss him.
ReplyDeleteI totally enjoy my alone time too so it works for us, for now anyway! :)
My husband and I were apart for several months while we were dating and a healthy distraction really is the key. I thought I would be down in the dumps but making sure I went out with friends, went to the gym and enjoyed time with my family was really important. I found it so necessary to have a good routine, one where I was focusing on me and what I needed to be happy. It worked out well too because talking to my guy about all the good was much easier and better for our relationship than bringing him down too, just because I missed him.
ReplyDeleteLove this post- I definitely find solace/clarity in running, too!
ReplyDeletexo
My heart goes out to {kp} because as we know this is not easy. When we did the long distance for 8 months I just made sure I was busy. I put extra time into my studies, extra hours in at work, joined a gym and became a regular at classes such as spin and body pump.
ReplyDeleteMy advice would be to stay positive. While you're doing long distance it is just easy to be negative. Having a positive mindset is half the battle.
I can totally relate to this post - when Jurgen and I were doing long distance I lost 15 pounds (and shed the freshmen 15 that I had never lost), I started doing long double workouts each day, added pilates to my routine and also started doing high intensity kick boxing. I must say that health and energy wise I never felt better! I also spent a lot more time with friends and reconnected with many that I had fallen out of touch with :)
ReplyDeleteStill I must say that I'm happy that I get to see Jurgen every evening now and wake up to him every morning, but, just like you, I am grateful for our distance days!
xoxo
Jenna
You'll be glad to know that I read the whole post :)
ReplyDeleteI'm currently in a long distance relationship, and I tend to keep myself really busy when we're apart, even if it's with silly things. Even though the busy-ness makes time pass, I still find that I'm lonely.
Happy Wednesday!!!
John and I spent a year long distance, and it was hellish-of course, I had lots of other things falling apart that made our time long distance that much more difficult. One of the best things that came out of that year, though, was my blog-I started it to distract myself from him being gone and to serve my obsession with gorgeous weddings, and it worked!
ReplyDeleteCan I just tell you how much I loved this post, and how lucky {kp} is to have you? I'm sure she's said it more than once, but this is sure to put a smile on her face!
After a year apart, the bf and I were so excited to be together a lot when we were both in school. Now that he has a job working a ton I don't see him nearly as much as I was used to, but it is wonderful to focus on myself and appreciate all of the time we have together. :)
ReplyDeletelove this. my husb works in tv, which as you can guess, never stops! for the first 7 or 8 months of our marriage, we had the same problem as your friend - we were 2 ships passing in the night and thought we lived together, only saw each other on weekends! that was weird! but you're EXACTLY RIGHT - awesome things come to those who wait. due to his willingness to take that crappy sched, he ended up getting a promotion. sending good vibes to your friend - this too shall pass!!
ReplyDeleteMY boyfriend and I were long-distance for almost 3 years and I just recently moved to DC to be closer to him. While we were apart, I would throw myself into work so the days would go by faster, and I would also spend time with my best friend and coworkers-- going out to dinners/coffee/etc. I didn't have any "healthy" distractions like running, but the ones I had definitely worked!
ReplyDeleteMakes the time spent together that much more special! Blogging helps :)
ReplyDeleteas great as it was to read your blog post today, it was equally great to read everyone's comments. {av} - you're an amazing friend and i'm so glad to have you in my life. i'm keeping busy with running and of course, working! okay, and a little house cleaning when i feel like it. :) thanks for the reassurance that things will be okay!
ReplyDeletei am trying to type something short up in this comment box to help, but perhaps i could send something useful to you & {kp} via a private message. the time apart is difficult, and i do understand. i try to get out and go somewhere new once a week, i'm visiting my family while {bw} is on a work trip next month, and i really like to have things on my schedule to look forward to.
ReplyDeletegood luck, kp. ;)
thank you sooooo much for this inspiration. my bf and i are currently in a LDR- him being 2 hours away and working what feels like 24/7. it stinks to not have that one person beside you each day, but it makes you appreciate them oh so much :-)
ReplyDeleteThe hubs and I spent the majority of our first 9 years together...apart in a LDR. This is so true: a healthy distraction is definitely necessary. And reveling in and treasuring those few minutes you have on the phone together at night. And knowing that once the LD part is over, the being together all the time part makes up for it :)
ReplyDeletei absolutely love your blog and i hope more people find out about it!! long distance is so hard my boyfriend is moving to texas for three years while im finishing school in new york its going to be hard but these stories are very inspirational xx
ReplyDeletei love this post so much. long distance is really hard but its so worth it in the end especially when you have such a strong love. :)
ReplyDeletePerfect post. My husband and I are new to the long distance thing. We went to the same high school, college and even lived together before our wedding 2 years ago. Yet NOW we find our selves in different cities. It's a constant struggle but I can see how it makes us communicate better but I still look forward to being done with this time!
ReplyDeleteThat was wonderful advice! I really wish I had known about your blog when my boyfriend and I were long distance. It was only 5 months, but he is Australian and I'm American so it was with a 15.5 hour time difference when I had to go back home.
ReplyDeleteI love your idea of healthy distractions, because I did not always have them! One thing that was good though, we sent one liner emails to each other along the lines of "I love you as much as Shaq misses free throws" (obviously one of his) and it was just fun to come up with unique and funny ones. Also great to get them too!
i thankfully haven't had much experience with a long-distance relationship in my past...that is, until now. hubs and i have been together 7.5 years, married for 3.5, and he has just moved 10 hours away for a summer internship. (insert ginormous sad face here.) what has kept me strong is a new and improved healthy lifestyle. i have been working out religiously, eating super healthy, and feeling fabulous. also i've taken advantage of bonding with my girlfriends, and watching hours upon hours of SATC and sappy Lifetime movies :) it's so hard, but will ultimately make us stronger in the end. you know what they say about "distance"...and my heart is growing fonder by the second.
ReplyDeleteHey There-- I just came across your blog from Doctors Closet and BFrend Bracelets -- love them by the way. My husband and I have and still are long distance. It is tough but we do what we have to just so we can be together. I have been married since February and we are expecting our 1st in Sept so it is much harder to go through this alone Mon - Fri. I did do ALOT of running and Crossfitting to keep myself preoccupied. Now I am spending a lot of time Sewing for the new baby to come. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAfter being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, lotto, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@OUTLOOK.COM you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem like wining lottery.
ReplyDelete